


how to be with him

by jo2ukes



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Reluctant Lovers, compliant with azure moon route, love across the battlefield, something between a poem and a fic, vague spoilers for azure moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22011178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jo2ukes/pseuds/jo2ukes
Summary: take his hand and keep him for yourself. lead him away. you won't know where you're taking him, you won't care. when his eyes search yours, looking for an answer, give none. when you find privacy, still your feet. breathe. be with him.//you’ve made space for each other in your lives, even though you’re both sure your edges don’t quite match up. you've promised each other the stolen glances in from your academy days, the small exchanges of gifts, the shared kiss in the goddess tower the night of the ball- all of it means nothing. yet somehow, you both know whatever you've shared means everything.
Relationships: Dedue Molinaro/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	how to be with him

when the messenger comes and you unfurl the parchment, pretend you don't immediately recognize the handwriting. pretend your heart doesn't leap in your chest.

be impartial. unemotional. logical. 

convince your Lady to accept his Lord’s offer to negotiate for peace. reason it is for the best. 

when the faerghan army arrives, do not smile. do not move. even when you lay eyes on him for the first time in five years, betray nothing. yet, let your eyes linger on the scars that mar his handsome face and make a silent vow to make quick work of the villain who harmed him.

bow deeply once the formalities are over and your Lady dismisses you to take your leave. his Lord will dismiss him in the same breath and for the first time in five years you can exist, just the two of you. no war, no duty.

take his hand and keep him for yourself. lead him away. you won't know where you're taking him, you won't care. when his eyes search yours, looking for an answer, give none. when you find privacy, still your feet. breathe. be with him. he will look at you, open his mouth to say something, but think better of it. retort to his silence with a barb, telling him if he expects you to offer up some poetic confession of love and swear your life ends with his, that he will be sorely disappointed.

he’ll laugh and smile and say he knows you’re not the type. 

he isn’t the type either.

you’ve made space for each other in your lives, even though you’re both sure your edges don’t quite match up. you've promised each other the stolen glances in from your academy days, the small exchanges of gifts, the shared kiss in the goddess tower the night of the ball- all of it means nothing. you each have your own cause you're devoted to, and fate has seen to it that your paths are destined to diverge. yet somehow, you both know whatever you've shared means everything. somehow, despite duty's call, despite it all, you've found solace in each other. 

let him hold you. you feel like you fit in his arms. pretend for a moment you can see a future together. you can see peace. you can see yourself growing old beside this man. close your eyes and let this future be tangible, only for a moment.

but let the moment pass and pretend not to be surprised when messengers find you, stating peace negotiations are at an end- there is no resolution. you must be enemies again. 

before he rejoins his army, catch his hand and kiss him. kiss him until your lungs burn. open your mouth to tell him you love him, but decide better of it. he will squeeze your hand before he parts. he understands. 

when evening falls, let prayers spill from your lips. you’ve never believed in gods, you’ve cursed them all, but you’re so desperate for sleep to find you, you’ll do anything. 

and when sleep finally comes, you will see him. he will meet you in your dreams and you will wonder if he utters the same prayers so he can be by your side. 

it is as though you both understand the plane of dreams is the only safe place you can meet. rush to him and kiss him again, bring back the fire in your chest. talk of the future you know you’ll never have. find sanctuary in his arms. offer up the poetic confessions you cannot bring yourself to say in the land of the living. you are safe here. you have each other here.

repeat this nightly ritual.

repeat.

repeat. 

repeat.

repeat.

repeat until you think you’ll go mad with desire, but speak nothing of it. no one can know your heart belongs across the battlefield in his hands.

let the days pass in a blur. go through the motions, ignore the ache in your bones. support your Lady as, despite your careful planning, your progress crumbles around you. think nothing of the fact that this means you'll meet _him_ again. ignore the intrusive thoughts telling you you'll be happy to see him again, no matter the circumstances.

and when the day of your fated reunion arrives, puff out your chest, wear your words as armor and meet him at the gates of enbarr. meet him at the gates of enbarr knowing the last kiss he will give you is the cool edge of his axe cutting into the skin at your throat. meet him at the gates of enbarr knowing that you will die by his hand.

**Author's Note:**

> reposted (and slightly extended) from my art blog where i obsess over deduebert :')
> 
> (art blog: oorsinoo.tumblr.com // main blog: jo2ukes.tumblr.com)


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